Why and how I got a career coach | practical tips

In March last year, six months into my current job as a Big 4 Senior Consultant, a competitor firm offered me a double promotion. Soon after I received the offer, however, it went on hold as part of the firm’s response to Covid-19. Fast forward to early this year, the offer was back on the table.

During the time the offer had been on hold, however, my dynamics had changed. I had invested nearly a year and a half at my current job. Now, I had solid career sponsors in senior management. I was the first point of contact for my clients because of the trust and credibility I had built with them. I also had developed a content niche and started an internal project, which increased my visibility across the firm. Last but not the least, I was up for a promotion later this year.

In a nutshell, I was thriving at my job. But I couldn’t ignore the immediate growth possibilities and long-term financial gains I had been offered at the other firm. I found myself in a quandary and felt terrified about disappointing people on either side because both sides were invested in my career development.

Soon, I realized that I would have to let go of my people pleasing tendencies to make a fair decision in my long-term career interests. I needed someone who could provide support and hold me accountable to my career goals and interests while I objectively weighed the pros and cons of my options without fearing who I would potentially disappoint.

That is why I got a career coach.

Reasons to hire a career coach

I had ruminated over working with a coach to minimize my people-pleasing tendencies for a long-time. This career decision looming over my head felt like a fitting point to start. While I have chosen coaching to develop a specific emotional muscle, career coaching gains come in all forms.

Some professional situations I can think of where a career coach can help are:

• Achieving greater success and reward in your current position
• Changing jobs or pivoting careers altogether
• Launching a new venture, be it a business or an internal initiative at your current job
• Exploring different career options to get clarity on what you want to pursue
• Navigating a toxic manager, teammate, or job environment
• Transitioning back to work life after a career break
• Developing critical skills for e.g. negotiating and influencing to fast-track your career.

The above-mentioned list is non-exhaustive. I strongly encourage you to research the coaching possibilities that are available for the position you are in at this point of time in your career.

Finding a career coach

I started my search by browsing LinkedIn and asking my friends and professional network for recommendations. You can also check with your university’s career development center and alumni association. Usually, they maintain a list of career coaches suitable for both students and alumni. It is also likely that your employer has a set of recommended career coaches. If you opt for this option, be sure to check in advance with Human Resources regarding the confidentiality of information that is shared between you and your coach.

Once you have short-listed your options, it is most challenging to find a coach whose vibe matches yours. Good news is that most professional coaches offer a first complementary session. Use this session to learn as much about your coach as possible. This includes their training and certifications, type of their clients, details of their coaching experience, and strategies they use during coaching sessions. The expertise and background of your coach should match your needs. For instance, if you want to improve your negotiation skills, get a coach who is a negotiation expert.

I had four to five complementary first sessions with different coaches before I found someone fitting. She passed the vibe check (enthusiastic and sincere), knew my industry quite well having worked as a head hunter in it, offered a flexible schedule, and had experience working with anxious high-performers. Bonus: she got me one of my first jobs in Amsterdam during her head hunter days! So she was already familiar with my career aspirations. Keeping in touch and nurturing relationships go a long way. When I met her for the first time four years ago, I definitely did not anticipate she would become my career coach. Yet here we are!

Edit 23 June 2022: Here is a list of career coaches who specifically help expats based in the Netherlands.

Coaching versus mentoring

I have previously written about how I found my career mentors. When I recently shared on insta I was working with a career coach, a follower asked how coaching is different from mentoring. Mentoring is typically an informal and long-term relationship based on mutual respect and trust. This makes its outcomes difficult to quantify. Coaching usually is a short-term relationship, which is rooted in a formal and structured process. Hence, it provides specific and measurable results.

Mentoring also is most often voluntary and coaching requires compensation. Additionally, mentors are usually experts within your own firm or industry. They are uniquely positioned to support your professional development overtime. Coaches are usually experts, who use strategies required to get you where you need to be in a certain timeframe. For example, find a job or help redefine career goals after a break.

Therefore, typically short-term goals and performance against them drive your coaching plan. A coach uses different strategies to bring about the change required to meet your goals. On the flip side, long-term career development and relationship building are the primary drivers of mentoring. Unlike a coach, a mentor imparts their professional wisdom and experience onto you. And, in some cases, even looks out for development opprtunities for you.

Practicalities to consider in getting a coach

Career coaching takes up time, commitment, effort, and money. Before you start seeking a coach, have a good think if you really need one. Then, define the career goals you want to achieve and the time you are willing to put aside to do the required work.

In complementary sessions, discuss the flexibility to agree on a coaching framework that works for you. A lot of coaches operate in group sessions, for example a salary negotiation course or a job search course. This could be favorable or not depending on your individual needs.

I would also suggest asking for references. Usually you should be able to find references on the coach’s LinkedIn or website. If you need more information to decide, most coaches also willingly offer a reference you can speak with directly. Be sure to ask.

It is also crucial to work out the finances. If you sign up for a course then you will likely pay a fixed fee upfront. However, if you design your individual coaching plan then keep an approximate number of sessions and budget in mind. Ask your coach the estimated number of sessions required to achieve your goals. In most countries, the fees associated with professional education, including coaching are tax deductible. Definitely worth researching this for where you are to increase your savings!

Other considerations include coach’s office location (unless virtual), schedule availability (working hours only), payment methods and schedule (some offer payment plans), and possibility to draw up a contract.

How my career coach helped me

Going back to whether career coaching helped, I can confidently say it did. I decided to be transparent with my management team about the offer I had received from the competitor firm. This put plans in motion to make me stay. This included a counteroffer and multiple conversations with senior partners at my firm about my potential to grow within the firm. It was extremely gratifying to feel so special and wanted. But, it also was quite uncomfortable to explain why the competitor’s offer appealed to me and what I needed from my firm to stay. Vulnerability is a hard thing, my friend.

Since I am prone to compromise my interests in order to please others, my coach kept my career goals central to the decision-making process. Prior to each discussion I had at my current firm, I brainstormed and practiced the key points I wanted to deliver. This helped me hold my ground when discussions became longwinded. I also unpacked every meeting I had at my firm with my coach. We assessed if the pros and cons of either of my options shifted in anyway. Also, her head hunting experience was invaluable; she could think from the perspective of firms on both sides of my impending decision.

Whenever she noticed I was succumbing to my people pleasing ways, she challenged me to see, think, and act differently. She also brought objectivity into the decision-making process. I could not be fully objective as a result of being too attached to my current team and work. Her objectivity, therefore, helped me put the plethora of opinions about what I should decide into perspective. She also had a trick up her sleeve for every time I was anxious, exhausted, or indecisive. A little breathing or thinking exercise.

In a nutshell, my career coach challenged me to constantly think outside the box and provided me the support I needed to repeatedly ask for what I wanted. I cannot imagine going through those weeks of back and forth meetings without her relentless support and round the clock availability.

Final thoughts

I strongly feel a career coach can help you go a long way, but not without your own drive and commitment. If either drive or commitment is missing while you are being coached, you will not see the maximum gains possible.

I also think it is important to remember that you steer your own career growth. At no point, should you hand in control of your decisions into your coach’s hands. For example, my coach wanted me to take the competitor’s offer without discussions with my current firm. I took her inclination into consideration, but decided to go with my own intuition. Always communicate your opinions and needs clearly. At any point if you see a conflict, talk it out or find a new coach.

Lastly, I believe it is crucial that your coach believes in your potential, understands your goals, and is enthusiastic for you to succeed! If this doesn’t come across in your interactions then definitely reconsider your coaching arrangement.

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Let me know in the comments if you have any questions related to career coaching. Have you worked with a career coach? I would love to know what your experience was like. And, I wish you all the best in your professional goals!!

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