For a long time, I’ve second-guessed sharing my running story because in my mind I’m not a runner. That said, running has been in some shape or form always been a part of my adult life.
Growing up in a conservative family in Pakistan, I wasn’t ever encouraged to pick up exercise. May be because I wasn’t ever over-weight. In South Asian cultures, exercise typically only comes into play when one is trying to lose weight. Similarly, I wasn’t ever encouraged to participate in sports. Sports weren’t for girls. When I was younger, there was fear I might get physically hurt or scarred, which would be a hindrance in getting me married later in life. Then, as I grew up, I learned girls participating in sports went against my family’s moral and modesty codes.
When I started undergrad in the US, I had six mandatory physical exercise credits to complete towards graduation. I thought of that as a first-world annoyance and wanted to get those credits out of the way as soon as possible. So in my first semester of undergrad, I registered for the “Fitness for life” class for three credits. I had hoped it would be more theoretical and I could dodge any real physical activity that would be a given if I took a tennis or rowing class for instance.
On my first day of class, I was disappointed when the instructor began walking us to the gym. I remember feeling so unfamiliar and uncomfortable as we entered the gym. This was a space I didn’t know. Fear of making a fool out of myself ran deep through my mind. The instructor asked us to get familiar with the machines and equipment and I remember thinking this can’t be happening. So I walked over to her and let her know I’ve a history of Pulmonary Tuberculosis, which makes me physically weaker than my peers, and I’ve never exercised in my life. She said, “that’s why this class should be more important to you than your peers.”
I took that class more seriously than I ever thought I would. There were a lot of firsts for me like holding a dumbbell and learning how the treadmill worked. I also experienced a mindset shift during the course, as I began admiring the women in my class for their physical strength. I never associated physical strength with my gender because women in Pakistan are appreciated for being delicate and dainty. That’s also what I aspired to be until taking this class.
In this class, I learned for the first time that I enjoyed running. It was uncomplicated compared to strength training. I just had to get on the treadmill and move. I liked that I couldn’t use my phone or other distractions while running. It became my escape from the stressors of undergrad like my over the top course load, extra-curricular activities to boost my resume, and three part-time jobs to pay my bills. Soon, I befriended Gabriella, who also enjoyed running. She introduced me to P90X workouts. We would plan gym dates for 30 minute runs followed by a round of a 15 minute P90X ab workout.
Depending on how much time I had, I fell in and out of running for four years in college. And while I remember running in college gave me a high, I neither remember nor have any stats of the speed and distance I ran. Even though I enjoyed running, I never had the confidence to run outdoors or register for a 5k likely because of my misogynistic upbringing. As a result, I never believed that I could seriously pursue running as a hobby.
When I moved to the Netherlands after graduation, I yoyo-ed with running again for the first couple of years. It was mostly me trying to fit running into my schedule instead of actively prioritizing it. Then around 2018, I caught a rare virus that was physically debilitating for six months and at the same time, I was also clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The doctors wrote me off sick from work for a few months and it was one of the most difficult times of my life–my self-confidence took a new low.
My doctors and therapist at the time told me to experiment with different forms of self-care. I started journaling and meditating. I used to go for short walks around the canal outside of my home and see so many people running outside that would make me want to run as well. Because I was physically weak, the doctors advised that I don’t try running outside unchaperoned. I decided to spend part of my performance bonus that year on a treadmill. We placed it in our guest room and it has been the best investment I have ever made.
Ever since buying the treadmill, I have run on the regular even if very small distances. My short runs played a huge role in building my self-confidence post recovery from the virus and depression. After being consistent with running short distances for a year on the treadmill, I also finally found the courage to register for my first 5K race last year.
It’s going to sound funny, but I actually had to train to run 5K within the 5K race cut off time of 45 minutes. On every run after 3K, I used to get a terrible side stitch that would be so painful that I couldn’t even walk. This went on for 8 weeks and I learned that the side stitches were partly due to my weak lungs post tuberculosis. I remember thinking that I could either use this as an excuse and feel sorry for myself or I could carry on and win.
I had read on runner’s world that running outside is better for people with poor lung capacity, but I just couldn’t give it a try for myself. A week before the race, I returned from work exhausted. I don’t remember what got inside of me that I just put on my running gear and left home. It was windy and rainy, and the temperature was five degrees celsius. I didn’t care because I had had enough of those side stitches on my treadmill runs. Outside in the cold and rain, I was uninhibited and unconquerable. After 38 minutes and 21 seconds, I was completely soaked and exhausted, but I had finished my first 5K!
It felt like such a huge achievement running my first 5K and that too within the cut off time of 45 minutes. I never thought my body was capable of it.
This year, I’ve two running goals. First is to run a 10K and second is to run a 3K within 20 minutes. In my mind, both of these are impossible but I’m trying to train every week to meet my goals.
Usually, I try to run 3K three to five times a week. That fits easily into my lunch break on workdays. My fastest 3K has been 20 minutes and 18 seconds.
I’ve recently realized that my running 3K multiple times a week isn’t enough to prepare me for a 10K. I need to start finding the time to cover longer distances on my run. I also have to strengthen my core and gluteal muscles, so my body can support long distance running because lately I’ve had too many injuries due to lack of muscle strength.
I’m no professional runner, of course, but I would love to share some tips in case they can help someone who is just starting out on their own running journey.
- Start slow. Couch to 5K is a great phone app to train at your own pace.
- Run outside if you’ve a chance, especially if you’ve poor lung capacity due to medical history.
- Stretch before and after every run. Hold every stretch for 30 seconds.
- Find a running buddy to hold you accountable.
- Try a guided run on apps like the Nike Running Club.
- Invest in proper running gear. Good shoes will take you a long way (literally!).
- Spend time perfecting your running form. YouTube videos will come in handy here!
- Eat enough calories to sustain energy on your runs.
- Schedule your runs in your agenda and try to be consistent to see the best improvement!
I would never see myself as a sporty person but I love running. I love the rush of serotonin and the feeling of escape that running provides. I also love the slow build up of energy as the run progresses and the dash of endorphins right after I finish. More than anything, running has saved me in difficult times and provided me a sense of self and demonstrated to me what I’m able to achieve.
Regardless of my goals about how fast or far I can run, at the end of the day, I will always choose to just run first.
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